Flat toaster makes for dangerous mornings

I’m not a morning person. I never have been, and I doubt that I ever really will. I’m the kind of guy that gets up, showers, dresses and still looks and acts like a zombie. The last thing I need in the morning is some way to make my routine more dangerous, because lets face it, I’m clumsy enough when I’m not groggy. Needless to say, this toaster won’t be making its way into my kitchen any time soon.